Hey I'm 27!

Friday, January 31, 2020
Welcome back! to me, and also to you if you were ever here before. Its been long since I last posted here, I think I only posted here once last year. I might as well just make it an annual event. Fyi, I  only write here when there is this one extraordinarily unusual feeling comes by. I didnt really know how to describe it, its just a weird feeling that used to come often, but now, I guess only once a year. Anyway, its my birthday yesterday! 31/1/2020. The last day of what seemed to feel like a freakishly longgg month. I am already tired just thinking of last January. I'm positive about the February and all the months to come tho. 

You know what, I know I just turned 27 and its really not that old, but God, I feel like I'm really old.  I don't know why I feel old, I'm not sick or anything (I should hope so), but I just feel urm I guess , tired. Its quite confusing and I haven't managed to really dissect the problem and understand what is going on, so lets do it together. And if you are also at the same 'place' as I am, let me know. 


I think a major part of this 'ailment' is because I am no longer enjoying work and to be honest, sort of resenting myself for still sticking through and not move on to find something that fit my interest and passion or at least just move on for a change of air. Don't get me wrong, everything at work is fine. My boss is nice, my colleagues are helpful and everything else outside my tiny little head is really fine. Its just me. I think I cannot go on with the same routine anymore, plus the routine is not quite the things that I enjoy doing. I dont want to settle for routine I guess. I want to get excited for new things everyday, I want to learn. But those don't happen often anymore. That and a lot more things that I don't know how descriptively elaborate.

" I have to go to work, its my responsibility, my periuk nasi"
" I will find a new job but I dont want to move anywhere"
" Everything else is okay, just change my mindset and forget about passion and 'interest''
" This is only a phase, I will get through it and I will settle"
" Now is enough,  Enough is good, stop pursuing the Unsure, Unsure is No Good"

Those are some of the thoughts that I'm battling with and possibly also what gets me tired, hence feeling old. We human are complicated creatures aren't we? When it seems like a lot of things going on externally, around ourselves, there's actually a lot more going on inside of mind. This constant battles is probably the culprit here in my case I think. 

Another thing that I want to be honest with you about is, I am scared. I don't know where my life is going and that scares the crap out of me because I feel like I should already what I want to be in the next at least 5 years. Heck, I don't even know about next month. I am applying for  scholarships again this year. Results are coming in February, March and April. That also what I am scared about. If you go through this blog and read about my previous scholarship experience, you may be able to understand the weight of this.

I think I should stop here. Dont want this post to be riddled with negativity.I dont want to ruin your day. Oh yaa, please don't take whatever  that I write above as an indication that I am not happy. I am happy, and thankful to Allah for everything that He is blessing me with, a beautiful , kind and thoughtful wife, my beloved parents and family and in-laws , friends and for every single breath that I am taking now. I couldn't ask for more from Him.

I know how weak I may look now, its ok. I am weak. But at least I am trying to understand my complicated self and hopefully to come out stronger. Hey, everyone has something that we are battling with. Right? Every battle is difficult and dangerous. So we gotta be strong, be strong by being true to ourselves and be brave to open up and talk about it. Sorry this post took a very weird turn.Lets end it here. We'll talk again soon. Probably next year. Haha. Take care.

Sembang2 : Thanks

Monday, March 11, 2019
Been so very long since I last wrote here. If you're a friend, you'd know I am now developing a new blog called Chasing The Sun, its an ambition I share with my wife. I'll explain later. This entry is not about that tho. This entry is just an update about and also to let you know that this blog is still alive and I am still going to write here. Its just going to take a long time for each entry to come up. Any way, life has been Alhamdulillah great. I am no longer too stressed about work,  my family is doing well, and mom & dad are happy as always, and I am now married to the love of my life, Farhana. Everything feels like too good to be true, but I take it all as a gift from the Almighty. 

Its been more than 2 months we're married and I look forward to wake up everyday to see this cute girl that used to be my best friends since we were in Form 2. *I didnt really know what to write about actually, I was thinking just to write some random stuff but now I feel like I wanna write about my wife. She probably wont see this, cause nobody will. But whoever reading this, you guys are probably from twitter right? I'll put it just on twitter because Farhana is not really on Twitter. So you guys also don't tell her ok!* I'll just write lah whatever ok? Just a start for me to get back on this blogging track. Ok carry on now.

So yeah, our schoolmates, a lot of them knew that me and Farhana were really close friends but I think none really knew what was really going on between us two. During highschool we were just best friend, she rejected me couple of times like full on Friendzoned/Brozoned, after SPM finally she wanted to give it a try and then throughout the relationship we broke up a few times but always get back together because we realized we didnt really have best friend like each other and we're sort of messed up without each other, and then we went through all sort of things together. And now we are finally married. I couldnt possibly wish for anyone else to be my life partner, she is the best. if you are reading this Farhana, you are definitely the best.

2 months into marriage life, I feel like we are doing good so far. Both of us are working, so we totally understand if after get back from work, we just want to just lie down and rest and let the house be messy. We'll kemas the house on the weekend. We cook, most of the time we'll cook, I have always liked cooking, even before married, I cooked like quite frequently. So we'll each prepare a dish usually for dinner. If she's cooking the protein, I'll cook the sayur and vice versa. By far, her best dish is Ayam Goreng Masak Cili Berladoo, followed by Siakap Steamed and third place is Sambal Udang. She is a talented cook I must say. If you see me gaining weight, that is why.

I am also amazed by how easy she gets along with my Mom. And I love it when she said that she fell in love with Mom and she understands why I'm such an Anak Mak. Its just such a great feeling knowing that both of the loves of my life are becoming good friends! I'll try my best to do the same to your family ok, I love them too! They are my family now, and I'll try my best to make them happy as well.

I'm starting to feel a little sleepy now, its 11.41pm. Idea pun dah takmau mai, so I think as a 1st entry back into this personal blogging arena, sampai sini cukup kot. hee. Atually im back writing here because Farhana was so excited when she saw me post the previous entry about our collaboration with Bertam Properties. She ask why did I quit writing here, I didnt give any answer, * well its really because I'm  just a lazy lazy lazy fellow. But seeing how she is excited for me to write here again, made me think, why not. Guys, im sorry if this post is a little cheesy and borderline annoying, but thats what I do here, so bare with me. I'll post more cheezy stuff in the future, be ready.

You know what, sometimes I feel like I don't deserve all these wonderful things thats happening now, not at all. But Allah is indeed so kind. Despite all my sins, He still wants me to be happy. Alhamdulillah.
Saja buat muka like that to annoy Her.

Pengalaman: Bertam Eco Residence

Saturday, March 9, 2019
Yesterday our www.chasingthesuns.com team participated in a blogger event organized by Bertam Properties Sdn. Bhd. (BPSB), I’ve not posted in this blog for a pretty long time, so I was thinking why not share this here also. There is another write up coming on my other blog www.chasingthesuns.com. , Go follow me there as well!

I’ve never went to any show house ever in my life (*there were couple of attempts but was not succeeded) , so I didn’t really know what to expect. But what I experienced yesterday didn’t just enlighten me about this beautiful eco housing project but also made me want to work harder to be able to at least one day own such house. Boleh bagi Mak Abah duduk rumah like this would be the ultimate goal. Essentially the event was to introduce BPSB new projects called Bertam Eco Residence. Let me take you through.

Bertam ECO Residence | Beautifully inspired by residency design from Australia, this latest project from Bertam Properties Sdn. Bhd. is a dream of every person who aspired to own a zen like house and surrounding. Highly accessible, if you are from Northern area, chances are you already know where Bertam Perdana is. I was from Kulim yesterday, so I used Padang Serai->Tasek Gelugor->Kubang Menerong route and reach there in less than 30minutes. Highly convenience, there is Mydin about 5minutes away from this Bertam Eco Residence, about 10 minutes (Maybe less) to McDonalds and Bertam Kiosk, and also very nearby PLUS highway. The General Manager, En.Ahmad Nor showed us around the house, we went to 2 of their houses, first is ECO Palmera and second is ECO Florenz. The one that we didn’t go is ECO Rosalva which is still under construction.

ECO Palmera| According to En. Ahmad Nor, this is the first property project in Malaysia that include an attached remote controlled garage. Usually we only see that in mat salleh movies right? Now they are implementing the same concept here in Bertam. I think this trend will be picked up fast by other developers as well. Its a 3 Bedroom + 1 Utility Room (can fit a single bed tho) ECO house, with each of the bedroom has their own bathroom plus another bathroom just outside the utility room. When we got into the house, I was like speechless for a good 5 minutes. Mind you, this is a show house, so the interior design is superb nak mampuih. Its an Australian design made Malaysian, adjusted to fit our local culture. According to BPSB team, in Australia, the kitchen is near your front door but for this house they change it put it at the back like all other houses here in Malaysia, takut lah if they put the dapur in front of the house, kita yang jarang masak ni terus tak masak. Oh yeah, the kitchen at the back has a sliding door separating it from the living room, so after this you can masak all the petais, rebungs and masak lemak tempoyak without feeling insecure if your guest could smell you cooking! So thats pretty cool right? They also have a bar table for you to chill at if you want to feel a little extra. Lets have a look at some of the photos we took.Oh yeah, they also include a free alarm system and 2 years free UNIFI. Now photos!

ECO Florenz| Next we went to ECO Florenz, a double story Bungalow unit, just 1 minute drive from ECO Palmera (we didn’t walk because twas toooo hot, not because we lazy ah). I unofficially named this house “ Kimi Jamai’s Villa” in my heart lah and planted solid ambition to one day buy it! ( Approximately in 25 years, AMINKAN CEPAT!). This one is a 1.2M++ house, so you can imagine how perfect is its everything. The interior design made it look like a 17.5 stars hotel presidential suites! I am exaggerating of course, but I kid you not, I exaggerated just a tiny bit, It really is that extravagant. This one has 4 Bedrooms + 1 Utility Room (also can fit a single bed), with a garage as well and there is sorta a walking closet on your way to your bathroom in the Master Bedroom. #Masterbedroomgoal. These photos im showing you will not do this house the justice it deserved but lets just have a look! 

 That was a great experience indeed! Thank you so much to Bertam Properties Sdn. Bhd. for having us and showing us around your beautiful Bertam ECO Residence. Thanks to you guys for reading! I’ll link Bertam Properties down below so that you can check them out! See you in the next entry!

Check Out Your Future Home! http://www.bertam.com.my/index.php/en/

Sembang2: Now A Vlog?

Saturday, November 25, 2017
Salam Muhibbah! Hopefully you guys are all doing great. Its weekend. I feel like I want to put something up here. So here we go, I recorded the video below while driving and on my way back to SP. I was thinking, I always talk to myself while driving, so why not record and put it on the blog. Yeah, that how lazy I am. Haha. Thats just the truth. Let me know what you think, especially if this is cringe-worthy, Okay?

Sembang2: New Song.

Saturday, August 5, 2017
Hello guys, I hope you guys are doing great. I'm doing just fine over here. Been awhile since I last update anything here huh? Well, this will just be a short entry to tell you guys that I am still alive and still have a tiny bit of passion in writing here on this blog. Still working at the same company. Work is getting much more stable now, getting the hang of it. Lucky that I wrote here how I was struggling before during the early stage of working,cause at least I could see how I grow emotionally. When I read back the previous entries, its funny now. Some I didnt write here, but when I read those entry that I wrote from during the time I was struggling, all the memories just poured down and good thing is, I can laugh about it now. Thats how life work aint it? So, everytime you 're struggling and having a hard time, just imagine that yourself 1 year from now would be smiling and maybe laughing at you now. Pick urself up, get the struggles resolves and move forward.

Anyway, I went to my MRSM Mock Interview couple of days ago. It was an extraordinary experience. Met old friends, teachers and just sit down reminiscing good old times as a student there. I still feel like I havent really left highschool. There is a part of me who is still that boy that dont want to go out and grow and pay bills and stuffs. I guess we all do have that part of ourselves right? Anyway, Like I said, this entry is going to be short, and this is probably it. haha.. too short? Ok2, a little bit more update, I am going to upload a song that I wrote, you can hear it on soundcloud maybe nextweek. Its called Pelangi. Another song with weird melody and lyric. Just a song from my heart. Show me some love yes? haha. Ok guys.Thats all from me for now. I'll talk to you guys in the next one. bye!

Sembang2: Love Your Job?

Tuesday, May 9, 2017
Hello you beautiful souls! Welcome back here and I hope you are doing great! Feeling awesome and looking dayumm hot! Coz you are!.  As a blogger, I constantly thinking on what could be interesting topic for me to write here, share my perspective and if possible get to learn your perspective as well. The problem with me is that whenever I have things to write, I wont have the mood to write and vice versa. So if  I ever get to write or publish an entry here, you must know that I have struggled and survived a battle between my emotion, idea, kemalasan physical and nafsu untuk tidoq. Unless, I got certain kind of push factor to make me write. Today, I got one. A friend ask me to write on "How to Love Your Job". Friend, if you are reading this, thank you. I know you must be thinking " the heck this dude? aku suggest tajuk ja, over plak dia", or you may not, haha.. But the thought of my random writing here could actually somehow give an impact ( even the tiniest possible) in someone's life, is good. It just feels great. So, lets see what do I got.

Do I love my Job?
To be honest, I wont go that extend, LOVE. But I can say that I am happy with my job. Happy here means, I have never fake an MC just so that I can stay away from the office. And sometimes even when I am a little sick, I will still go to the office to get my things done. Thats the happy that I am talking about here. Get it? Not the kind of happy that rainbows is flowing out of my bike on my way to the office and birds are singing accompanying me to work, not yet there. Hopefully one day.. I am happy because this job is giving me some sense of purpose in my life as for the time being. I have missions now everday. I still remember how bad was it when I didnt have a job, I woke up to do nothing, if that wasnt bad, try waking up to do nothing and scrolling social media with pictures of all your friends getting  jobs and having some sense of purpose in their life. Pretty bad huh? So, yeah, I am happy with my job now. For those who havent got a job, dont feel bad, you will get a job and you will learn to love your job. Cumanya, masanya belum sampai lg, and God wants you to rest or maybe help your parents at home or just feel this feeling right now so that you would appreciate things later when you get a job. So, sabar dan doa dan usaha ok?

Can You Love Your Job? 
Absolutely yes! Tapi a little bit different from drama cinta Akasia 7.00pm TV3, there is no love at first sight when it comes to job. Especially when you are a fresh graduate, there is no love at first I tell you, there is only nervousness, insecurities and blankness. During the early stage of working you do not really understand what are you doing and even what the heck to do. So how on earth are you supposed to love it right? Even in the context of human being, we cannot "love" someone in a day or two, we can like someone for how they look or how they sound or maybe how they behave, but we cant love them for that reasons, love comes with time. It grows from admiring, to liking and finally loving, this takes time. Along the way you will see all the good and bad sides of the person which ultimately make you fall in love more with them. Same thing with job, you need to give it time. You havent seen all of its sides yet to decide that you hate it, maybe you have only seen the stinky side of it, the good ones has yet to come. So, give it time yes?

How To Love Our Job
Its everyone's dream to work and do what they are passionate about right? Like me, I like art, singing, graphic design, writing and I am passionate about these things, but for the time being, God says that I should be working as an HR personnel, so who am I to rewrite that right? That being said, I take these opportunity to learn as much as I can, to be the best at what I am currently doing, but that doesnt mean that I am throwing away my passion, I carry it with me, with my job. I do design for company brochures, I do copywriting for company's social medias posting and so on. The idea is that, try to incorporate your passion into your work. That would help. Hopefully.

Another thing is, when you work for any organization, big or small, dont think about you working for the organization. Instead, think that you are working for the people inside the organization. Think that the work that you are doing right now, is going to affect the periuk nasik of all other people in the organization. If you work hard, you help the company to achieve the target, everybody gets bonus and there is a little boy/girl somewhere (anak2 employees is what I meant) will get new toys and get to eat KFC or ayam McD for a night and sleep with a big smile on their face. Well it works for me, I hope works for you too.

I hope thats enough sharing for this entry.  Hopefully you can take away something from this entry and if there is anything you would like to share with me, you can tell me on the chatbox on the right side of this blog. I dont know my comment section p mana ntah. Anyway, thanks for reading, and again, give it time ok?


Pengalaman: I'm Really Okay Now

Tuesday, April 25, 2017
Whats up beautiful souls! I hope you guys are doing fine, feeling great and looking hot! Cause I am..Hahahambar.. Anyway guys, its almost a year now of me working here at SilTerra as an inhouse recruiter. One year. Not yet there, but almost. If you read my entry from the first few months I joined the company you might be able to smell that I was not that happy working. Its not that I was not happy with the place but I was just so not ready with the idea of "working". Like I always said, my plan after degree was only to further and pursue knowledge until the highest level there is. So, when that ideal or that plan has to take a different turn, it sucked. Due to that, work was suck. But that was almost one year ago. Right now, things have changed. Things are getting tougher but I can now say that I am happy working. Of course everyday, every single freaking day will be an adventure, there will always be problems *caused by yours truly or sometimes by others but most of the time by yours truly but its ok. I'ts a norm, only now I realized. I tell you what, up until now, there is not a single day where the day went off smoothly, not a single day. I constantly freaking out about something and at this point I will be scared if Im not freaking out about something. At first I felt like its unhealthy and  just wrong but then I realized that its good actually, at least you know you're up to something. So, yeah, in this entry I would like to share with you guys why am I ok now.

Seeing Lives Change.. Improving.
Working as a recruiter is a bless. Thank You God for sending me, putting me on this path. Through only almost one year working as a recruiter I have seen so much people changed, improve themselves. How? by getting a new job of course, with a better pay of course. Whats better than that? is for me myself to be the turning point of that change. Let me tell you story, a few months back, I have this candidate, his name is Shawal, he came for an interview at the company for Manufacturing Technician Position, he didnt 
get job because of some reasons I shouldnt mentioned here. But really I think he is a good person with a good attitude and can really an asset for the company. How do I know? I was in the room as one of panels.. Shawal was not from a rich family and at that time jobless plus his wife was pregnant 6 months. It really broke my heart seeing a good candidate in such situation not getting the job and had to come back home to his mommy to be wife that he was again turned down. 

So, I told him, ask him if he was okay if I would want to call him again for other position and he obviously he agree, at that time, we didnt have any other openig that he could apply. So, we waited until a few weeks after that there was one opening that his education qualification fit to apply, but then his age was a bit over the limit.. So, we waited again, *I believe at same time he also applied for other position at other companies..One month after that, there is one other opening, this time he is fit for the job, all aspect. So I called him for an interview session with the department, and as I expected, the department liked him .. But this time around, other conflicts raised, because of his age is like this and his salary cannot be like that and da da da da. I could have went to other candidates, but I really want to help this guy and his family. I didnt gave up on him, I tried my best to get the whole things done and the process took almost one month, and I finally got to hand him the offer letter from our company.He definitely was happy. He said that his wife will be so happy. 

 And fast forward a few months after that, just last week, Shawal sent me a pic of him, his wife and their beautiful baby girl, he said "Dari bini saya pregnant 6 bulan sampai lani anak dah 3 bulan, Terima kasih En. Hakimi, Semoga urusan En.Hakimi dipermudahkan macam mana En.Hakimi bantu saya dan keluarga kecil saya ni". That really made my day. This is only one of the cases among a few more that just warm my little heart everytime I think about my job.

I am Pursuing Knowledge.
I mentioned about how much I want to pursue knowledge right? Yeah, like a lot. And during the first few months of working I thought its the end of knowledge searching mission of mine. I thought thats it for me. But as I went along and work and work,I started to see and  I realized that everyday there is opportunity for me to learn new things, be it how to better conduct an interview session or how to manage my work better or if I want to, I could also learned about Wafer Fabrication processes and really understand it. The chances are there and the materials to help me study are also there, I just have to want to do it. Also I see that I can turn all this experience that I going through as learning process right? With that, I will be continuously learning about so many things,and this is applicable to everyone thorughout the whole spectrum of work, of life. Now I know that I am not quitting my pursuit of knowledge but really I am just taking a different way to do it.

Chances to Impact The Youngsters
I did write in few of my previous entries that I wanted to further my studies and became a lecturer mainly because I want to give an impact to students and change their lives. This dream came upon me since when I was in standard 6, when my teacher cried in front of the whole classroom because most of us failed her paper. Since that day, I worked so hard to redeem myself towards that teacher, heck, I even memorized a freakin mini dictionary aaand I finally got an A for her paper and up until now I have been in love in English language, mainly because of what happened back then in standard 6. I want to give such impact towards people life too and I thought the only way was to be teacher/lecturer, boy was I wrong, there are so many other ways that we could do to inspire people and to give impacts towards people and lucky for me I can do it in the interview room *more private and really real or I can also do it during career talks. I am not really good at talking but I have got the privilege to give career talk a few times now, Thank You God. Career talk is like me sharing with them about the career opportunity at our company and at the same time I will motivate the students to study hard, study smart and be prepared for the industry and some other stuff. And eventho I dont know how impactful they are towards the audience but at least I get to live my dream, and it feels good.  

Guys, I know it maybe a little too early for me to say that I am happy with my work, maybe the worst part of it is yet to come but at least as of right now I am feeling so much better compared to myself almost one year ago, If you whos reading are having a hard time at work because you just joined the organisation, trust me work is gonna get better, if it doesnt then trust me you will be stronger. Either way, things are going to be better. See you in the next one!

"You might be sad now, might also make no sense now but have faith that it is the best. Later when life slowly unfold, you will see all the answers to all your 'whys'"


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